Patriarchies are the norm and also paternalism and something we call bapakisme, a culture of accepting what adult men say, opine and decide. The word contains the root word bapak, which means father, Mr. and Sir at same time. A bapak is supposed to be a leader, a good father, the provider, the protector and the one who knows everything and has the correct answer in all occasions. Women, children and subordinates are keen to listen to what bapak says and to follow and to oblige immediatly. Boss and bapak almost synonymous. Questioning bapak is not the norm. A famer is a bapak for his family. The village head will be the bapak for the municipality, the district or the province. The culture of bapakisme has gone so far that we are inclined to say only those things that please our bapak, even if it means adjusting the truth. Westerners would say, in their direct way of speech: that is lying. To us, it simply a matter of highlighting selected aspects of reality.
This is our concept of hierarchy and order, with the president as the ultimate bapak of everybody. Not surprisingly, with a famale president leading the country several individuals and gruoups wonder if this is the correct situation. After all women follow, not lead.
The opposite of bapak is ibu, which means Mrs., Madam and mother. A person who is married, or over the age of say, 25 years is traditionally addressed as Ibu or Bapak. What you may guess is that being a father or mother is an important social position in Indonesia. Which is true. Being a married person and having children is a highly regarded and expected achievement in life. A person who is not married, if asked will respond that he or she is not married yet.
Anyone who is too young to be married is addressed as brother (Mas, Bang etc.) uncle (Om) or sister (Mbak). Children are usually addressed with adik, which means younger sibling. Everyone, including siblings will address each other similarly and rarely by their name only. Only recently have teenagers begun to address each other by their given names leaving the traditional mbak or mas to those outside their circle of friends.
With the distinction between the role of bapak and ibu comes a clear distinction between their respective responsibilities. Bapak as the heads of everything are focused most with life outside the family circle, making a living and making decisions for the family, but rarely involving the family members, let alone the children. The role and responsibilities of ibu include all that is related to the household and the education of the children. Ibu can be found in the kitchen, a domain that is completely off limits to most bapak.
The concept of 'ladiest first' has its opposite in Indonesia. Here we never say 'ladies and gentlemen' but always say bapak-bapak dan ibu-ibu. Gentlemen enter the elevator first, the house first, the theatre first, greeted first and are served first.
You may have the impression that Indonesians constantly look up to a Bapak and are keenly aware of who is 'higher' of 'lower' to oneself, who is 'junior' and who is 'senior'.
Source: Indonesia OK!
Post a Comment for "Bapakisme"